How retarded can you get!?

Gobsmacked, speechless, amazed, nonplussed . . . and whatever other words describe my current shock!!

I'm to be one of my good friends, (Pictured above, name change to protect identity) best men in 2010 (Theres two of us, his oldest mate from school and moi) . I was honoured to be asked and am shitting myself about it . . . He texted this morning at 9am to tell me if I didn't apologise for wait for it!! "Implying he was a donk" in our local league match online last night, not to bother ever speaking to him again!!! WTF . . . He is serious to.

I actually put in the chat box following him knocking me out "Play like a donk>run golden>ship" He then lost it in the chat box.

The hand that lead to my frustration is as follows, I respect his play he's a solid player and he had started abusing that respect, systematically raising my BB 5 times on the bounce, he had just under twice my stack on the fifth time, I have 22, only pp I'd seen 5/12 left I'm second shortest stack and have played like a nit having recently doubled through with AQ v Chippos AJ) and he min raises to 400 in SB I shove 1900 he snap calls with A4o!! Rivers the A obv. I was fuming!! Just took fifteen minutes out and came back to final four and watched him call another all in after limping on another nit with A7o and snapping for 3/4 of his stack, he was up against A10s he flops 7 and knocks out 4th place. I then put in my above retort. He isn't generally a donk but was playing like one last night, the evidence.

Donk hand one: Chip leader who is running like god on BB, Retard limps in the CO, she raises x3 he flats, 5h8cJd flop check, Tard bets 600 into 2000, she insta calls turn Kd, check he bets 600 into 3200, she insta calls. River 2d she bets 2000, at this point they are chip leaders, if he calls he's down to 900!! He tanks than calls with 7c7h and wins against a Q10o and very cleverly played bluff, we hadn't seen anything but the nuts or near nuts all night from this girl. He then proceeds to gloat about his "great" call. Bad form.

Donk Hand 2: Calling an all in from me with A4o

Donk hand 3: Snapping AIP with A7o v A10

Donk hand 4: Which I really enjoyed . . . He ends up HU, with a big chip lead. He is getting run over a bit, but holding his own then this: He's on BB, SB raise x 3 he flats J46r he check calls c-bet, turn K, he check calls pot bet two suits out, 9 completes potential flush, he check calls an all in with 79o for a pair of 9's v J9 two pair!! WTF. He is now on life support wp!

Another mate types "donk" in the box and he just goes on a spew telling him to get a better job so he can afford to play etc!! Just nasty shit, I text him saying calling me a knobs out of order (Which he did in chat box after my comment above) also I put I felt he was harsh putting the job comment in to, he the texts back "fuck off." Friendly!! He finally donks out 2nd still for $36 putting him comfortably 2nd in the league. You think he'd be happy.

Apart from asking for an apology, he accused me of a lack of loyalty and said he wasn't out of order in anyway!! I am shocked I've only ever seen him like this when Man Utd lose and he can't take the banter!! MAN UTD fan NUFF said really.

To be honest I'm fucking fuming. I sent him a couple of well worded texts in return,, basically saying it's me due an apology, but feel a bit childish, I mean we're erm . . . 21 give or take, ffs we're not in Primary school.

Rant over . . .

On a plus note, I had a wet dream last night . . . It was so so gooooooooood, first one since my teens, second one ever!! Shes ill so not had any " hows your father" for two days, or even managed a crafty wank either (Bad times)!! So it was a nice and totally mind blowing release, although she was wondering why I had to change my boxers at 4am, I told her it was down to a sleepy, post wee dribble ;o)

Ends.