Used to love work . . . Sigh!

Following this thread on Raise the River, Work blocking some internet sites, I started to reply to a humorous post by Yorky Pud, but it was getting to long, so I pinched it for le'blog.

As a background I'm an office manager and as such had it great at work, delegated alot of work out whilst spending my day playing poker etc, profits and growth at work were booming and I had a good team, Head Office was based in Nottingham and the small I.T. team who looked after us were based in Warrington so never had to much pressure, I was good mates with the I.T. lads and they gave me a heads up if anything was a problem or checks were being made etc so all was gravy . . .

Well my first run in with work came a few years ago, on the back of me playing day in day out online in the office, I used to get in early for 7.20am (made me look good to my staff who when on call started at 7.30) play the full Ladbrokes daily MTT schedule and finish with the 14.45 turbo, sometimes the 15.15 $20 shorthander, as well as dippin my toes in the bigger sites. Well this one fateful day I had 4 games running, was typing an email to a mate on hotmail and looking at facebook at 3 in the afternoon and got a phone call from my MD asking me to check a few things on the system, whilst he stayed on the phone. I did as he asked as I continued playing the games with HM and FB minimised and off he went seemingly happy.

The next day the North West area manager dropped in (He happens to be the Father of the M.D and runs the Southport branch) asks me to have a private chat. Nothing unusual and didn't worry in anyway for the impromptu visit, he then asks how things are going etc. Brings up my chat with the MD and then congratulates me on a tourney win and a 3rd place on the poker from the day before (at least I ran well)!! lol hmmmm I'm sat there stunned and burning. It turns out whilst visiting the I.T. offices the day before he had asked for demonstrations of there tinternet and branch monitoring techniques and how they track internet usage etc. WHOOOPS, Ste head of I.T. had a new guy training who like the good boy scout he should be notices the mutiple conections from my branch! They pinpoint the i.p. addy and then satelite view my screen, after 20 mins ring me and watch me beaver away at the tasks given me by the MD on screen as I continue to talk to the MD and still manage four games of our favorite past time. Following the call, they then get a round of brews in and whilst discussing other things sit and watch for an hour and a half my progress in said games and are I'd like to believe suitably impressed with my mad skillz!!!!! Multi tasking FTW . . . .

I apologise profusely, take my bollocking, happy in the knowledge it wasn't official, no note taker or correct disciplinary procedure followed and promise to never play poker or any online games at work again, they are to be fair a good bunch and take it light heartedly (with the underlying menace of repercussions should I let them down again). This was around 3 years ago, subsequently we have been absorbed by a bigger company, my M.D. and his father bought the Southport branch out, as it was there's originally and have been quietly forced out of there roles at my company, both leading to substantial tribunal payouts.

Fast forward to July 2010, out of the blue I get a phone call from H.R. in Nottingham, the girl who I liaise with and assists me on my day to day basis with staff issues and legal bits and bobs. On the phone she asks me if I am alone , tells me I am suspended and to go home immediately, our area manager was on her way to oversee my branch in my absence and I would be contacted following a full investigation with the details soon and not to discuss it with anyone, they would inform my staff I was ill!!! WTF!!! Talk about heavy handed.

I do as I am bid and tbh am quietly shitting it, as I really had know Idea what was going on. So obv you think the worst. Three days I'm left wondering, I couldn't relax and didn't even tell the missus the full situ, just said I'd fucked my back and couldn't go to work, in case it was to do with an indiscretion from some staff I've had dalliances with in the past, this was strangely my worry and only thing I could think of tbh, that I'd pissed someone off when I'd lost interest in them following a bit of fun or summat. Stupid really, as I had always remained on good terms and was quite clear in what the situ was with any of the girls I got involved with, they were always as discreet as me, buuuuut in this day and age you never know.

I finally get called in for an investigation hearing and have over 500 double sided sheets of A4 paper thunked down in front of me!!! MY INTERNET USAGE FOR TWO WEEKS!!!! Times logged in out, sites I was on total hours on line etc (which equated to way beyond my working time.) It turns out the new company had done a full internal audit of all branches internet usage. Luckily I'm not stupid enough to look at instant sack able sites, porn, Amatays blog etc. So we sit in this meeting for over four hours as we discuss all sites involved at some stages I have over 20 sites open at once, which I don't get. It turns out they must be pop ups as I look on various sites. Raise the River was a biggy and the two weeks worth they had scanned was just prior to the NPF event!! So I was on loads at that point, my argument was I opened MSN, Facebook, RtR and just left them minimised all day and click refresh ever so often for a look, the probs was with RtR and other Forums too, RAOTL for instance, after a few mins you frustratingly get logged off, hence the high levels of log ins. My own blog was there to, luckily I have never slated work on it although not 100% sure they realised it was mine anyways and Facebook was classed as a dating site FFS!!! lololol. I end up being reinstated following the meeting pending the disciplinary decision which was a worry as, as the staff handbook states (which I had never really read!! Although used to bollock my staff for not reading and following!) excessive internet use can be classed as gross misconduct, i.e. sackable. So travel to Nottingham for my hearing and am simply given a written warning after pleading ignorance to the hand book and lack of training in regard internet usage etc. I am offered a counsellor, for they are concerned I may have a gambling problem as the number of poker related sites I went on was astronomical, as they put it!! (I hate gambling tbh bar poker as I naively feel I am in control) Deeply Offended by this turn of events, I upon returning to my office proceed to write a statement roughly 1500 words on why Poker isn't gambling and sent it to H.R and the company Ops board. I got a firmly worded response that to your average non poker playing person any game played for money is gambling!! Fucking philistines!!!

It seems I am not the only one in the company in trouble and following this sweep, the internet at works virtually locked down now sigh!!!

Right enough of that shyte, to much more important things . . . .

URGENT URGENT ISSUE NEEDS RESOLVING . . . . IT IS A MUST WE FIND THE GIRL BELOW. SHE HAS BEEN PRESENTED TO US ON RAISE THE RIVER BY BUSTER AS SHE (WE SHALL CALL HER PERFECTION) IS HIS NEW AVATAR. IT IS ESSENTIAL PERFECTION IS FOUND AND FURTHER PICS ARE MADE AVAILABLE TO OUR COMMUNITY, NOT JUST FOR OUR RABID SANITY, BUT TO ASSIST IN ALL CARPAL TUNNEL EXERCISE RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your time on this. We pray to god she is found soon!

Ends.