Just call me Larry

Larry Letdown . . . Got home aroung 6.30pm last night from the daily grind! Looking forward to a night at the G with BurnleyMik and NoCash, although was running late as usual. I then got a call from the police, the office alarm was going off FML!!!

Quickly finished getting ready and shot up to the office, which is in Preston, the total opposite way to Blackpools G Casino!! Arrived to find one fed up policemen and those slightly less paid wannabe "comunity officers" waiting. We did a tour of the building and found the back door had been tampered with and someone attempted to force it. SCUMBAGS . . . The alarm was still wailing happily, I punched the code in . . . the alarm continued to wail, a thought crossed my mind at this point! "mayhap the poker gods were with me and apart from £5 petrol, they were preventing me burning £45 at the G" who knows, but I was fuming!! The police left saying we would hear from them today (Friday) and I was left to contact our maintence dept for them to get someone to sort the alarm!! So just sat in the office cold and miserable. To be fair although not good enough to get me to the game, the alarm guy was prompt and reset everything in double quick time.

So I got back to the empty house, feeling dejected and with the missus at her mates, I fired up the trusty lap top, a five, ahem sorry ten knuckle shuffle later and onto the $10NL pokes, I ran like god and soon (17mins at this point in) had my $6 BI's on 5 tables up to $17, $18, $24, $13 and $8 in fine style, people were just bluffing into me all over the shop with air, when I had the nuts or near nuts it was great. So logged a solid $45+ session.

I then came off for a bit when the girlie got in and logged back for a second session a bit later. I got mullered!! I came across a player who reminded me of a lad I play with who is just a clueless calling station!! Example (1st hand I play against him), he is in the big blind, A raise under the gun to 40c, I reraise to $1.20 from cut off with AKcc, BB(Station) calls, UTG calls, flop QcJc3h mahoosive for my hand, BB and UTG check I lead out for $2, BB snaps and UTG folds, turn 8s Check, I bet out again $4.50ish which puts me all in and he insta calls with 8h7d!!!! WTF, I obv brick my thousand outs, farewell buy in one.

A few hands later, I watch in dispair as he gets picked off by other guys and has to reload for $10. I'm then involved again with him I've chipped up to around $9, I set about raising to 30c with 1010 from MP, he flats in SB, BB raises to $1.50, iffy spot for me, but he is three betting to squeeze alot, I consider shoving but elect to flat and get out of the way of a suspicious flop and or action. flop is a healthyish 689 rambo. Station in SB checks, BB C-bets with a weak $1 bet, I think and shove. Any raise is pretty much comitting my stack and I'm not letting the hand go here. Here's the good bit SB insta calls his remain $6, BB hollywoods it then folds. turn 2, river K . . . SB K3o . . . OH MY GOD I WAS DUMBFOUNDED. Don't get me wrong I want this guy at my tarb all the time but it was burning me up. He then proceeds to LOL and thank me for playing and don't try to "Bluff" a Corsican or some shit. BLUFF!!!! WTF? . . . Steaming doesn't cover it.

I then getting bummed on a seperate tarb when I river shove, get called by Ace high when after betting hard, into a K high board, that had a flush and by the turn had an openended str draw for me, that obv failed to materilise on the river, he checks again and my only hope of taking down the substatial pot is to blast he just insta calls for almost all his stack with AQo!! This guy was also sat at my Corsican friends table with me, so maybe that influenced him, feck knows? But A high with K and a 10 by the riv is just redic. I simply felt shellshocked. I'm not saying my play was perfect by any stretch but with the hands shown down they should not even be involved by the final "call" sigh.

Although I do except these were the types that gave me my early $40+ session. I then logged off all my tables down $20 for my troubles but still up $25 for the night. . . I can't sleep when this type of shit happens. As my darling harridan of a girlfriend was soundly asleep next to me I logged onto 4 tarbs of $50NL for $30 . . . Then, had a real WTF am I doing moment and insta unreg'd off them all and felt good. In the old days I'd manically shizz off a big % of my roll and blame all the poker donks in the world for my losses. (Whilst playing like one!) Instead I played for twenty mins at $25NL and a $15 buyins on four tables. I came off around $17 up and it made me feel alot better.

I'm now comfortably rolled for 25/30 Bi's on Stars for my $15 buy in @ $25NL, yet am still kinda not wanting the bubble to burst. I've obv played higher in the past but never with this discipline and I used to scoff when I read people being comfortably rolled for higher stakes, but scared to take the step up @ like $200NL to $400NL or whatever, I just thought if you have the roll whats the problem. I'm virtually half stacking $10NL and have now got the jitters when I step up to play with $15 at $25Nl. Weirdness.

Anyways, all's positive in general. I haven't got round to firing into another poker site yet, a combination of laziness and having quite alot on has held me back and I have $1500 burning a hole in my bank account ready to be redistributed and it feels good!!But I suppose I'm seriously missing out on rake back now, I've nearly completed 15000 hands @ 5c/10c and even the rake of $10NL adds up.

Big sorry to Mik and Dave for being a no show. Obv it gave them more chance of doing well with my SKILLZ missing, but I was really looking forward to the tourney and a catch up with the two RtR balla's . . . ho hum.

Ends.

Liverpool 2 - Scum 0 . . . oh and the Nags.

What better way to recover from a hang over, than watching El Nino help to dominate an average, over achieving (this season) Man U side.

Ahhhhhh it was bliss . . . .

I went to Aintree on Saturday for my mates birthday. I have never really been a big fan of the nags tbh, I haven't been to the races in a while and as with certain online pokay sites I have alot of consipracy theories regarding horse racing. IT'S CROOKED SIMPLES.

BUUUUUUUUUUUT I had a fantastic day, apart from winning a tidy sum of filthy crooked lucre, everything else about the day itself was spot on to. Got a full fry up with the lads at Wetherspoons prior to grabbing a case of the lager from le'offy and hopped on the train.

Incidentally if you ever want to feel better about your sorry lives head to your local Spoons at 9.30am on a Saturday, it really can put your own life in perspective!!

A few cans and banter later and we land at Aintree, we were dressed for the whole day and night so shoes smart jeans and collar, we felt for just a standard Aintree meet suits would be a bit much! How wrong we were, 80% of the lads there were suited and booted and the majority of ladies looked amazing. The original 8 invited became 6 on the day, following two people dropping out, so we split into to two Syndicates of 3, each putting a £5 bet on each race (Obv we did our own individual bets to) so each sydi had £15 riding on a race. All picks were done seperately so if we doubled up on a horse so be it. We also pust £5 into a kitty and the Syndi that won the most races scooped the pot!! We had it locked by race 5 with 3 winners to the others 1 niiiiiiiiiiiice. So bragging rights to us.

Got thoughly smashed on the return trip and ended up in Preston for the night. 10's was our first port of call, the only way to start a night out in Preston is with a few naked lap dances, it's even better pulling out a roll of £20's won at the GG's, in front of the gaggle of hotties when getting your first drink. We stayed for a couple of hours and met and chatted to the majority of the ladies. One girl who now thinks I'm an up coming internet ahem adult themed photographer, has memorised my email address (Apparently they can't write numbers or whatever down) Thought she was just blagging me, but low and behold Monday at work check my emails and she had sent a note at 10am on the Sunday, (She must have felt the length during one of the dances I had with her, shes only human at the end of the day!) she basically emailed for more info on what I do. I think I'm in total love with her, she is just stunning!! During our dances and chats I gave her the: I can pobably get her set up with a web site on a reputable porn tube, if she did some sample shots/vids, the content is up to her i.e. teaser shots or full on hardcore cock jockeying . . . HEY I WAS DRUNK!! I had a couple of dances with her and a lesbian one with her and one of her pals, she has the most perfect looking phaginca I have ever seen and gave her mate a right good digiting during the dual show . . . !! She now wants to do a sort of casting type thing to see if she's suitable!! Hmmmmmm . . .

Poker - completed my 20 sessions, I seem to have took my foot off the gas it seems, finished nicely in profit though, but it seems the sessions got longer and my booming start has settled into a steady grind, but the bad sessions have vanished the worst was a $6 up sesh!? I can't put my finger on it, my aggressions dropped as in tandem have the bad beats. I suddenly seem to be getting check raised all over the shop and obv the usual cash game rake inducing setups seem to be just as regular. My results for those are on my lappie so will post next time. But would love to get something done on the tracking front I have given up trying with HEM. Won't even load now after numerous uninstall, reinstalls!!!

G Casino tonight should perk me up meeting, No Cash and Burnley Mik, for the weekly £40 triple chance freezeout. ONE TIME!!! Gets a healthy 85-90 runners so a deep run will be scccchweet.

Ends

The Good, The Bad and the downright UGLY!!!

I'll start in reverse order!! WTF is going on Mik?? I went to Anfield last night and left feeling impossibly low after the game (West Ham fan styley!) I stayed to the bitter end. No creativity, not one player on the whole fucking pitch capable of putting there foot on the ball once Gerrard had gone off and to be honest the quality/depth in our squad is woeful, utterly shocking!!! Once he'd gone we looked so so fragile. We have 4 world class players and 2 maybe 3 very good players at best the rest are average and shine occasionally.

There doesn't seem to be anyone coming through the youth ranks!! We won the FA youth cup back to back, where are these players!? The last time youth teams performed like that, Beckham, Scholes, Giggs, the Nevilles, Nicky Butt, and ahem Robbie Savage were in the team and a year later Liverpool did it and we had Owen, Fowler, Carragher coming through. Now we have young foriegners being bought in and given a chance before obviously talented for there age home grown players!! The youth system sucks. We obviously have the talent yet they don't get the chance?

In one week, we have virtually thrown any chance we had at the title away and probably and very embarrassingly an early exit from the Champs league, in our supposed "easy" group!! Who is to be blamed for the squad? We've spent as much as most of the top teams over the years. £20mil on a replacement for Alonso, that hasn't really been heard about before, whos coming from his home town club for a new country and new league and has an injury. I'm sorry it's just redic. Yeah we've signed him for 5 years. So what. It's bad business full stop the end!!!

SIGH . . . Well thats the UGLY.

The Bad, we went for a coupley meal and night out last Friday which was a quality and good to catch up with a few people. My bro and his wife were due to come, but little un wasn't well so they bailed last minute. At midnight they had to rush the poor ickle mite to A + E, she couldn't breathe properly!! They got home at 5.30am with a distressed 10 month old. It really shook me up when I heard, they were told if they hadn't took her in the worst could have happened. Luckily they managed to get her treated and given an inhaler of sorts to ease her breathing as she recovers from a viral chest infection. I went round Sunday and she was full of life, crawling properly (shes been a lazeeee baby up to this point) and trying to walk and in great spirits, she was breathing normally again thankfully to. They have a black lab and it's so gentle with her, I was pssing myself watching her, crawling right across him kneeing happily in his eyes and headbutting his snout lol. He just lies there wagging his tail and it's so cute ha ha. (No I'm not getting broody!) He's such a boistrous dog usually but when shes in the room he's always very careful and gentle round her.

Right the Good, POKER . . . makes a change lol. Well it's been a good couple of weeks. Just dunno where to start, my local online Poker league (Sponsored by amatay.blogspot.com) Although this week I had to get it organised by someone else, after it was set up in advance as a $30 game (should be $10) and SJ was in Ireland paying redic money for beer and no doubt getting pwned at the felt . . . Cheers mate. Although to be fair he's been a massive help getting these organised over the weeks and obv a trip to Ireland with a load of Blondes is a good enough reason for said glitch ha ha.

Well it's back to back victory for yours truely, so my serious skillz got the job done in weeks 6 and 7, leaving me 1 point behind the leader and level with 2nd place (Ahead on monies won though) and finally turning in a nice profit for the games. 8 weeks remain so anything can happen but to be fair the usual suspects IMO are already in the top 5 spots so I think it will be between us 5 right to the death.

G Casino - I nearly didn't make it Saturday, due to having a seriously bad sambuka inspired hangover!! Had arranged to meet one of the lads there plus after a few pished texts on the Fri Dave (No Cash ) decided to come down for an afternoon of donking. So I finally got round to paying him the £25 for my stake in him for the upcoming £500 in the Blackpool GUKPT.
Anyways long story short me and my mate ended up final tarbing, I got 5th out of 50 runners (Paid top 9) for £100 and S 4th for £150. Bit annoying tbh I had visions of playing HU with my mate and I was around 3rd in chips on my exit hand, although 2nd-4th were similarly stacked and a donk from Carlisle was massive chippo. My exit hand: I was on the BB, 4k/8k, 45k infront (After posting), Chippo on Button flats, S makes up in SB, I check K6o. Flop 38K rambow, checks to chippo who fires 10k into the 24k pot, S folds . . . . I think and re-raise to 30k (STUPID) he insta calls, I have now committed myself, so shove the 4 turn he snaps, I ask how big his K is, he replies havent got a K got two pair and tables 34o!!! FFS, if I shove the flop he folds (Well maybe) so only myself to blame. Ho hum.

Intrestingly, my last visit to the G when I took 2nd in a 5 way deal the same guy who took 1st and instigated said deal was in the last 5 this time to and started trying to deal, but this time was short stacked and wanted to divide the £1300 prize pool 200 each and play for the remaining £300. I'm not to familar with deals but obv was good for him. Chippo refused tho fair play. He said he'd take £300 and £180 for each of us and play for the rest which obv was daft, as if he won which was likely he'd win £600, £100 more than he would as standard.

Online - I continued multi tarbing 6 max and have had a nice upswong again following my little stutter.

Session 11 (2 hr) = -$25
Session 12 (.5hr) = +$12
Session 13 (1.5hr) = +$37
Session 14 (1hr) = +$16
Session 15 (1hr) = +$21
Sessions 11-15 = + $63

profit/loss total= + $228.50

per hour (22) = $10.38

After a few rough sessions I have had four solid winning ones so happy days. This Sunday is my day to choose the new Site I will be playing on. My moneys off my other sites at last. I've left $300 on Stars for my league games and to continue my last 5 sessions of the 6max.

I have also downloaded the HEM trial version. Couldn't get it to save HH and haven't tried since so lost a 3rd of my 15 day free trial. So thats my mission for tonight, try and get that working. My frustrating evening trying to do this coincided with session 11 funnily enough. Hmmmm

Ends.

Honeymoon's over!

Before it has begun it feels

Yesterday mornings first significant loss was followed by session 9 during the very average England game, leaving me a further $21 down!!

Hmmm, now I need to work out why: I'd like to think variance (This is what everyone cries about when they start to lose, of course) Personally I think ever so slightly my game and mentality has changed, due to my early success, I have been playing arrogantly and not respecting my opponents enough. So they were a donk in one hand, this doesn't mean they haven't picked a monster up in the next!!

JJ x 3 AiP v's KK, AA, AA. All of which I should have got away from pre, I'm calling off or in one case five bet shoving my stack hoping to see AK or an unlikley underpair, I have to stop this. Other horrible plays calling a three bet pre with AJ then hitting the J and stacking off v's QQ, in a similar situ I three bet from SB with AJo following a button raise, get a pause and flat call, J high flop and get b/c'd to the river where my bet there gets shoved over, do I fold my TPTK? Na course not, I call off my remaining $8 to see QQ. SPEWTARD!!! This in other formats I get away from easily. I'm not giving people enough credit for hands simple as that. In other spots I'm getting to involved with top pair average kicker and being out kicked. I shouldn't be in the hand to start with!!!!

At these stakes big bets really do mean 95% of the time that the villan has the goods. I was being cold decked to a degree, I mean were 6 or 5 handed and these hands are up against other monsters. The only time I got it AiP ahead was QQ v AKo 9 hi flop looked good but the A and the K on 4th and 5th str, put pay to another stack. So standard and shouldn't bother me, yet due to running/playing bad, these type of hands start making you believe the poker deities are really not on your side lol. To compound it I was dealt AA three times, two of which my standard x3 pre raise took the blinds (Probably 2 of 5 times all night my raise was respected) and the 3rd time I three bet an UTG raiser who folds for a $0.45 return :o) . . . . . lol.

I know all you players out there are thinking how standard this is and get used to it, but in one or two games it's frustrating, yet when you're being constantly out drawn, or cold decked on 4 of your 6 tarbs it's downright heartbreaking!!! The positive is apart from a KK v 55 rivered set, I didn't get any bad beats that I can remember. Apart from the odd flush hitting when villans completely priced out. So the problems I'm facing I can deal with by adjusting my own play and mind set.

Plus point,

Session 9 during 1st half of the England match = - $21 (1hr)

Session 10 = + $10.50 (1.5hr)

profit/loss 9-10 = - $10.50
profit/loss total= + $167.50
per hour (16) = $10.45

. . . . from 22.30 to midnight. This second session of the evening, was hard work as I was trying to adjust due to what had already occurred in the previous session. As such I think I may have missed good re-steal spots and some value as I nitted up a little, but my goal was a achieved in turning it around. By the end I logged off alot happier and a little humbled really by stakes I had previously not overly respected.

Need: Tracking software, HUD, training video's, 6 max cash game literature!!

Ends.

Eureka!

At the end of this month, I am emptying my online poker accounts and starting all over again. (Aside from Poker Stars, where I will leave enough for my local pokay league)

I'm scrubbing the slate clean . . . I'm very, VERY excited about this.

Why? Well because I can.

1. I don't get rakeback on any site at the moment. This never was an issue to me. Although daft, I signed up for alot of sites in the early days and missed a veritable gravy train. So I am leaving these sites and joining sites through a Rake back site (The best I'm lead to believe is Rake the Rake?) I don't have a Betfair account and there are also some good RB deals through Raise the River forum to so they will be my first port of call. I am going to explore these options and pick the best initial fit and probs bonus whore for the forseable future.

2. I was never to fussed about rake back because I was predominantly playing STT's and MTT's. I now plan on really giving cash ago. This big shift has come from being alot more limited in the length of time I seem to be able to play. Cash I can log in and log off as and when simples.

3. I need more structure to play my best. I set up an STT challenge not so long ago 100 $10 STT's on Stars = + $400 plus change. Not bad at all. BUT I got so bored and I just wanted to finish it for finishings sake. Also 100 standard STT's two tarbing equates to 75 hours of my life give or take = $5.30 per hour. Since then I have just pished about MTT's STT's if time was short etc, and my silly underolled shots at $1/$2, $2/$4 and $3/$6 cash. These actually resulted in a profit, but reduced me to playing like a scared hopeful fish. So I pulled back following my first significant loss and just went back to STT's and MTT's. Breaking even and losing the will to play as I ran/played badly.

3. As I plan on playing cash Rakeback becomes a must, it can turn a losing session into a break even one etc.

4. Following watching the 2M2MM it made me realise that the vast majority of online pro's that sustain, are playing cash. The show itself is ok and entertaining, although, being a poker show you'd expect to have some tid bits to help your game. Erm not here you don't. So . . .

. . . CASH, I decided to try my hand at, I have a proper approach for once! So I'm doing 20 sessions @ $10NL SIX MAX (Buying in for $6 auto reload) to get a feel for it, without costing me if it falls flat on it's face. I am going to see how I'm doing, have I still got the energy and am I still enjoying it. Most importantly am I winning1?

My current situ is, I play on Poker Stars until the afforementioned new account search, I have set aside $180, as a realistic cash roll of 30 $6 buy in's, I'm 8 sessions in:

Session 1 and 2: four tabled, first one took a bit of messing as I tried tiled and cascade, finding cascading suits me best.

Sessions 3 onward: 5 and 6 tarbed and prefer it as, I don't tilt (as yet) because if I take a beat I'm holding up elsewhere to cover the loss etc. It really does iron variance out. Also if you get a bad beat the fish involved doesn't generally take to long to donate it back. If they don't leave instantly!!

Session.
1.(1.5hr)+ $3.5
2.(2hr) + $17
3.(1hr) + $27.5
4.(3hr) + $68
5.(.5hr) - $4.5
6.(2hr) + $52
7.(2.5hr)+ $33.5.
8.(.45 hr) - $19

profit/loss 1-8 = + $178
profit/loss total= + $178
$ per hour = $11

This is obv a good start and I'm sure it's not sustainable, but I am very suprised at how much I have made at 5c/10c basically micro stakes! Some of the play is LOL. BUT there are some good multi tarbing regs there to who are obv using HUD's and tracking etc and adjust well to my play and others. My last losing sesh was this morning whilst having a bath before going to work and tbh it was a string of bad beats(AK called by AJo AIP, QQ v K8o AIP), me playing a bit to aggro and apart from one shocking call I made which cost me $11, I felt it was just a standard losing session. Which I was kinda happy about. Because I just seemed to be sitting down and winning with little effort!! So this has proved alls well with the world and I need to keep ontop of my game. I'll expand more on my plans in future, but generally I'll use the blog to keep a record for myself and to monitor adjustments and air my thoughts on this relatively exciting adjustment in my pokeplaying.

BANK ROLL.

Current online (Various Aquariums) = $1183.98

Current live poker acc = £4581.


Total profit/loss 2009 = + £3932.20 (+ £4417.81)*

Online = + £2701 (£3161) (-£70)

Live (Casino/Pub/Home) = + £1231.20 (1256.80) (even)

*Brackets denote best and worst for 2009.


Ends

Adventures in Babysitting!!

My weekend to come will be one of faeses, a screaming girl and a sleepless night, no I won't be so drunk I shit the bed. I am babysitting my 10 month old neice, from 8am Saturday to Lunch time Sunday!! Arrrrrrggggggghhhh

Given the chance I think that would be me above, if, I was left to my own devices whilst on babysitting duty ha ha. Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) I have a girlfriend who is the manager of childrens nursery, so is excellent with babies,(and dotes on my niece) so my input will be minimal. You know pulling faces, making stupid noises and waving my hands about, all of which I do when playing the old online pokes so I'm fully trained. Although I won't be telling her to "fuck off you cheating bastard" which is one of my regular profanities when being battered at the virtual felt.

So no lie in for me all weekend sigh, although the upside is we're having a beginners pokay night at my bro's on Saturday,an excuse to have a night of drinking, banter and to teach some of our rather poker ignorant mates, a bit more about the game we all love and enjoy. The missus is dropping me off at 5pm and is looking after my niece for the evening, so I can watch the England game, (Well that was the plan, I'll expain more a bit later, why this isn't happening) then into the dining room for the poker with a few of our friends. This is the third such night with the same group and strangely the poker bug hasn't caught any of them, don't get me wrong they have a good night we get shit faced and my bro knocks up his usually spectacular Chilli. Buuuuuut for some reason they haven't took to the game, when I first played I was insatiable, wanted to play, read and learn. But I was playing on level playing field, with equally clueless individuals and we learnt together as such, some more deeply and seriously than others though. Perhaps the fact of the 8 of us my bro and one other play regularly and ultimately win on these beginners nights, leaves them maybe with a bad taste in there mouth, so they just want to keep it as an occasional bit of fun? Who knows, anyway I'm looking forward to it as since my last Notts trip apart from extensive training work wise I haven't been up to much.

So the plan was to get there for 5pm, "crack a few tinnies," as they say in that place Hitler came from and watch our boys in a rare situation, a competive England match where the result's pretty irrelevant . . . Why has this changed, because we are boycotting the game and I hope everyone else is doing the same. The greedy fuckers!!! The game has been put out of reach of the terrestrial channels and with Setanta going under it was up for grabs, some internet streaming company has the rights now and are pimping it out for a bargain £12/£15 on the night online only. Thank you but fuck off. I may be wrong but I am pretty sure the F.A. promised all England's competitive matches would be available to the English supporters for free on terestrial T.V. this is obv not the case, why! Why should we have to pay to see our own boys play it's redic.

This is the bit that disgusts me: England defender Rio Ferdinand (Ex Hammer cunt, current Man Utd greedy cunt) has described it as: "A good step forward".He added: "I read that online advertising has taken over from TV, so that tells you something about where it's going on in terms of the digital world." . . . You stupid, thick, greedy, ugly idiot, Rio Ferdinand you should be applauded I mean you're clearly thinking of the fans and not your already over inflated wallet.

One comment summed it up at the end of the report:

"Well done Rio, Thanks for thinking of the fans, I am staggered you support something that takes away the national game from its massive TV fanbase and instead beams it to a tiny proportion of people with the necessary computer technology to receive it, so denying the majority chance to watch their heroes.I can only assume you have headed far too many balls and its affected your thinking.May I suggest in future you stop trying to sound like you have your finger on the pulse by quoting some half-baked bit of research(if you do some proper work during all that time off you have after training you'll see that limitations in the study) and instead stand up for the fans who can't afford to travel abroad but still want to support the national team. If you find that too difficult may I suggest that in future you just SHUT UP.

and another comment . .

Rio you may be able to afford to pay out for such luxuries without batting an eye lid, but for the average joe in the street that has to pull in 50 hours a week hard graft to earn a pittance and then have to pay extra to watch a match that should be free to all that want to watch it in this country is just down right wrong.

Not one person I know is going to be watching it "allegedly". I really, REALLY hope this backfires and they end up making a loss, the best bit is the games pretty meaningless from a qualifying point of view and hopefully this will impact significantly on sales. If people don't buy it then in the future these greedy cunts will look elsewhere for opportunities to basically rob us!!

Both the above sum up exactely how I feel and many others.

Anyways, got a crispy bacon bap with my name all over it sat on my desk infront of me . . . eh! what was that? "eat me!" . . . "Why thank you little bit of piggy, don't mind if I do"

Ends.

How retarded can you get!?

Gobsmacked, speechless, amazed, nonplussed . . . and whatever other words describe my current shock!!

I'm to be one of my good friends, (Pictured above, name change to protect identity) best men in 2010 (Theres two of us, his oldest mate from school and moi) . I was honoured to be asked and am shitting myself about it . . . He texted this morning at 9am to tell me if I didn't apologise for wait for it!! "Implying he was a donk" in our local league match online last night, not to bother ever speaking to him again!!! WTF . . . He is serious to.

I actually put in the chat box following him knocking me out "Play like a donk>run golden>ship" He then lost it in the chat box.

The hand that lead to my frustration is as follows, I respect his play he's a solid player and he had started abusing that respect, systematically raising my BB 5 times on the bounce, he had just under twice my stack on the fifth time, I have 22, only pp I'd seen 5/12 left I'm second shortest stack and have played like a nit having recently doubled through with AQ v Chippos AJ) and he min raises to 400 in SB I shove 1900 he snap calls with A4o!! Rivers the A obv. I was fuming!! Just took fifteen minutes out and came back to final four and watched him call another all in after limping on another nit with A7o and snapping for 3/4 of his stack, he was up against A10s he flops 7 and knocks out 4th place. I then put in my above retort. He isn't generally a donk but was playing like one last night, the evidence.

Donk hand one: Chip leader who is running like god on BB, Retard limps in the CO, she raises x3 he flats, 5h8cJd flop check, Tard bets 600 into 2000, she insta calls turn Kd, check he bets 600 into 3200, she insta calls. River 2d she bets 2000, at this point they are chip leaders, if he calls he's down to 900!! He tanks than calls with 7c7h and wins against a Q10o and very cleverly played bluff, we hadn't seen anything but the nuts or near nuts all night from this girl. He then proceeds to gloat about his "great" call. Bad form.

Donk Hand 2: Calling an all in from me with A4o

Donk hand 3: Snapping AIP with A7o v A10

Donk hand 4: Which I really enjoyed . . . He ends up HU, with a big chip lead. He is getting run over a bit, but holding his own then this: He's on BB, SB raise x 3 he flats J46r he check calls c-bet, turn K, he check calls pot bet two suits out, 9 completes potential flush, he check calls an all in with 79o for a pair of 9's v J9 two pair!! WTF. He is now on life support wp!

Another mate types "donk" in the box and he just goes on a spew telling him to get a better job so he can afford to play etc!! Just nasty shit, I text him saying calling me a knobs out of order (Which he did in chat box after my comment above) also I put I felt he was harsh putting the job comment in to, he the texts back "fuck off." Friendly!! He finally donks out 2nd still for $36 putting him comfortably 2nd in the league. You think he'd be happy.

Apart from asking for an apology, he accused me of a lack of loyalty and said he wasn't out of order in anyway!! I am shocked I've only ever seen him like this when Man Utd lose and he can't take the banter!! MAN UTD fan NUFF said really.

To be honest I'm fucking fuming. I sent him a couple of well worded texts in return,, basically saying it's me due an apology, but feel a bit childish, I mean we're erm . . . 21 give or take, ffs we're not in Primary school.

To add to it, he originally was having the wedding in 2011, as we have another mate getting married in July 2010, stag do 10th June 2010 all sorted etc. He rings me last week, we're booking a two week holiday from June 9th onward in Cyprus and getting married there next year!! OH MY GOD, I explain it clashes with our other mates Stag do and is really close to his wedding. . . . He's insistant though, O.K. thats fine it's his wedding, BUT what was an all expenses paid day as best man for me in 2011, suit, venue etc has now turned into a £2000 for a week (£3000 for a fortnight) wedding for me and the missus!! Plus I'm letting down my other mate who I've known a hell of alot longer. It's just such a shit spot to be in!!!

Rant over . . .

On a plus note, I had a wet dream last night . . . It was so so gooooooooood, first one since my teens, second one ever!! Shes ill so not had any " hows your father" for two days, or even managed a crafty wank either (Bad times)!! So it was a nice and totally mind blowing release, although she was wondering why I had to change my boxers at 4am, I told her it was down to a sleepy, post wee dribble ;o)

Ends.